It seems to be the season for heartache.
Everyone around me is ending friendships or relationships. A girlfriend recently ended a 10-year association with a parasitic best friend from school. She was distraught. Somehow the loss of even a bad friend hurts more than the loss of a lover. Another guy I know, broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years because things just changed after a 6-month stint she had in the US. Proves my point that distance just makes the heart wander. Yours truly ended a marathon 4.5 years herself a couple of weeks ago. For those of you who thought I was going to become introspective and sensitive enough to write about other folks' pain, you got it all wrong. Nope, this entry is again all about me. Thank God I have my sense of humor and love for self :-)
So here I am. Single. Not really sure how to mingle. I'm not tough enough to end the friendship because it means so much. And I'm not strong enough to maintain it without hurting myself. What a paradox.
Anyway, I caught up with an old friend from school last night. Well, he was kind of my first boyfriend, at a time when I didn't quite understand what the term meant :-) We didn't even hold hands !! We were discussing how easy life was back then, when love was like Kevin and Vinny in the Wonder Years. Remember your first Valentine's day, and the time you gave your first card, first time buying someone a gift, getting harried if she came your way on Rakhi, your first fight. God its like this wave of nostalgia swept over me.
To save me from this and more, I've been put on a strict regimen by well-meaning friends to help me get over my misery. This includes -
1. Getting piss drunk with a girlfriend - Great idea to start out with but I don't have much memory of the evening, and I think I may have sent an incriminating or worse, pathetic, sms/made a call
2. Getting loads of work done, and doing overtime to impress bosses - Again a swell idea coz my value at work skyrocketed, except what if they start expecting me to do it regularly? I mean eventually, I will get a life and then I will want to live it
3. Watching porn and comparing where he fell short - Worked well for a while when combined with alcohol, but then backfired completely coz I got all hot and bothered
4. Dating other men - Sure, where are they? I realized suddenly that single women weren't joking when they said all the good ones are already taken/married/gay
5. Experiment with my sexuality - Ummm...ok I would've loved to give this a try except that the very idea of doing a horizontal tango with a woman makes me want to loose dinner. I mean if I wanted boobies, I'd just look down
There were more suggestions, but I'm tying them out first. Will keep everyone posted on how those attempts are working. I have a feeling its going to be one helluva ride.
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9 comments:
Put it behind u.
the best way to cope is to keep going. simple as that.
come on girl, this is life. it will pass.
iw
Just chill out girl.
These all sound like knee-jerk reactions to something that's clearly affected you in a profound manner. Let yourself grieve, live you life, take a good break, and before you'd know - its all history :)
PS: Objection to point 4 - don't tell me delhi men have become that bad - I refuse to believe it :)
Thanks for the nice words. As for Delhi men, they aren't bad. They are just hibernating, since I'm on the prowl :-)
But I really do believe Option 4 is my best bet. So hear ye hear ye, if you know of a friend who's interesting in dating a jilted gal (she promises NOT to bring up her ex), you know where they should leave an interesting comment :-))
Coffee? Call 9873345078 - Vivek
Hey Vivek,
Your message got me SMILING.
Infact, I wouldn't mind getting to to know you better :-)
For those of you who dare to call this "desperate", shame on ya!!
BTW, I'm still at office. Pretty soon, I'll be like the algae that grows here on the water cooler.
hi, nice one long time.
kinda in the same hole. only that things got shittier and shittier and yesterday was the end of them all. not that there was a relationship but hell we dont even talk anymore. "i miss you princess"
and ifitell...i tied booze in plenty. didn't work for.
keep posting.
LOL @ 5. :-)
Yeah. Vivek..you got here first, ha!.
Vivek may have got first shot. That doesn't mean he's gets the only shot. Watch out man, you got company.
Nice blog btw.
I just love the frankness in your posts.
You've got guts gal!!
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