Monday, February 27, 2006

Men...Ummmm

Owing to my last post, a lot of my friends/readers thought that perhaps I was one of 'em bra-burning feminists, who hate men, and everything they stand for (or everything that stands for them). That is hardly close to the truth because I quite like men. Infact I like them better than a lot things like bird flu, rodent plague etc...

I've been challenged to write atleast 10 things I like about men (without invoking the license to dream), without drinking, and without repeating myself. Ha I say to the challenge. Here goes:

1. I truly like the way men love little boys (NO, I do not mean like MJ). I just admire how they try to teach little boys tricks like how to turn cartwheels, how to hold a cricket bat, how to deal with rejection from girls...Its actually quite endearing.

2. I admire how men will not try and analyze every action, word, and gesture to death. If a woman shrugs her shoulder when the man says "So baby waddya think of em jeans eh?" the man will think "Oh great..Woo hoo..she wants me!!" Imagine what would happen if the sexes in this situation were reversed. Since I don't want to repeat myself, you can read the results here. Bottomline, men are definitely less stressed out than women and enjoy life more than we do. Why they die more of heart disease than women is a multi-million dollar research industry. Perhaps all those years of not telling us whether the turquoise silk looks better or the mauve chiffon finally catch up with them?

3. That men make better bosses is a world famous phenomenon. Most male bosses tend to be more sympathetic and understanding. Yes, they do tend to stare at Thelma and Louise, but then its either that or the hell bitch who will not let you take the day off that time of the month. I don't like dissing women bosses coz I have had some great ones, but somehow opposite sex boss-subordinate relationships work better. Don't ask me why. That would be probably be another blog.

4. Men are adorable when they are shy and in love. Try remembering how your guy pal's kid brother behaved moonily when he had a crush on you. How about that geek in school, who looked up from his Organic Chemistry book only long enough to spot you? Sure back then you laughed, but now he is probably an IIM graduate, working some high-flying job, and loves his wife and 3 kids. Guess who is having the last laugh?

5. Men go to puddles when we cry. It doesn't matter if we are sisters, friends, "rakhi sisters", mothers, whatever. Good men cannot stand to see us cry. They tend to do irrational things to get us to stop. This includes making a fool of themselves, or going and hitting the people who made us cry in the first place. Barring all this, nothing consoles a case of the weepies better than a pair of good guy arms. No point even trying to deny this. I know I know it seems like this is ammunination I'm handing over to the male bastion, but don't worry, I still have a couple of tricks up my sleeve.

6. Men are forever confused by women and we can get away with anything. Says cramps, menstruation...and see them run for cover. But my personal favourite is how they are so sure they think of you as a "rakhi sister" till 8th grade. However as soon as 9th grade comes (for some late bloomers 10th grade), its like a little bomb goes off and they realize their feelings are anything but brotherly. This is also the stage when they will start carrying your fat books and help you out with dissections in Biology.

7. Men have the most convinient neck space. No massage chair can come even close. God was very intelligent when he made that space between their chin/jaw and shoulder just so a girl's head could fit in there. This is especially useful when you are watching the Matrix for the nth time. Also useful after that last fight you had with mom over your curfew time.

8. Men smell good. No not all. But mostly they do. That familiar fragrance of Old Spice, and even the new age Ax Effect, do strange and wonderful things to our hormones.

9. Men will never remember that 4 years ago, when his mami's cousin sister gave you a saree, you didn't appear thankful enough. The off side to this is that they will forget the anniversary when you held hands for the first time. Men have the task of remembering some 5000 dates that commemorate your relationship. They will forget 4999 of these dates, but will go all out to make it up to you. This includes wine, candle lit dinners, diamonds, and other unspeakable joys.

10. It isn't exactly heart-melting when they check out other women infront of us, but when we catch them red-handed at it and call them out, that sheepish smile makes our stern expression so tough to maintain. Once again, they will go all out to make it up to you.

11. The way men look just after they wake up is another heart-melting moment. Hair typically resembles a gollywog, and their not so sunny termperament makes them so cuddlable.

OK...I was told 10, and I came up with 11. The extra one to let everyone know just how much I don't hate men. Convinced?

19 comments:

Lalit Singh said...

and everything they stand for (or everything ...
LOLS
NO, I do not mean like MJ
more LOL
but now he is probably an IIM
Whats the IIM fixation Gal???

5. You bet ..UN Security Council is seriously passing a bill to declare them as "Weapons of Mass Destruction" and all the male members have unianimously decided to vote for the motion

check out other women
We can't help it.. tis hard-wired in our DNA

Anonymous said...

Well written. You know, I was actually optimistic at the beginning when I read that there will be 10 good things written about men (esp by you)!! However, it doesn't take long to figure the I-am-taking-their-trip-again attitude that somehow seems to creep in pretty regularly.

Keep the posts coming, they make for some good reading.

Archana Bahuguna said...

That was hilarious :-) Strong words coming out of an Aquarian woman! Thumbs up! :-)

silverine said...

This was anamzingly good read. I did my ISC in a co-ed school and my observations of guys goes like this.

1. I like the respect they have for friends.
2. They never bitch about their friends or spill the beans about each other.
3.They are not petty ( at least most of them)
4. They tend to take up for each other even if they don't know each other well. ( my blog is a perfect example LOL)
5.I like their discomfiture with anything to do with gals :))
6.They will switch into professional mode the moment they enter the office, while we gals still bring personal stuff into the office.
7. They keep their bike and sports equipment sparkling clean but their rooms....!!!
8.They are all momma's boy and that is very cute :)
9. They are ever willing to help.
10. And last but not the least they are so adorable :)

Ganja Turtle said...

Jeez....if a confused woman can ramble incisively like this, god help mankind when clarity kicks in...

"Most male bosses tend to be more sympathetic and understanding" - this is a kind of a corollary to your subsequent pt abt men going helpless when you cry...its just that we get so startled when y'all come into the room in a whirl of emotional chaosl, that 2000 years of caring and sharing instincts kick in and then - poof! morph from tough boss to soft "hey, you are sure u ok" happens...

"The way men look just after they wake up is another heart-melting moment blah blah" - funny how its totally difft...women look oh-so-vulnerable and utterly innocent when they are sleeping...

Swathi Sambhani aka Chimera said...

jus dropped by ur blog,
interesting...very interesting...

Safari Al said...

all the women that i can fall in love with are simply random names. the one i fell in love with isnt interested.
ah...well never mind i sit and solve cryptography problems all day now, busting my head over terribly involved polynomial divisions.
but yes when i bump into her i still get butterflies in my stomach.
god i love her!

Safari Al said...

random names as in if itellyaillhavetokillya.
hell if i wanted to ask you to marry me, id be blue in the face before i could finish saying your name...

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

lalit: glad u liked...the IIM fixation is just that - a fixation. can't explain it. although i am also partial to TCS men :-))))

ashwin: hey hey...i hope u don't take my "i'll-take-their-trip" thing too seriously...its just that this is my space to vent it all so i don't carry it onto real life...glad u like what u read

archana: hey lady..thanks for dropping by and commenting :-) glad u liked..this Aquarian woman only has strong words :-)))

silverine: agree totally with your list...except for the whole mommie thing being cute...sure u say that now.. wait till u date a 28 yr old who wants to ask mommie if he can go to bed early with his wife !! i kid u not...actually happened to a friend of mine...imagine her surprise when once frisky boyfriend...turns into seeking permission from mommie husband!

ganja turtle: was that a compliment??? and 2000 years of caring?? i thot men spent the last 2000 yrs killing rexes?? but u must b a manager..u know the pet dialogue when they discover weeping ladies!

swathi: drop by more often!! thanks :-))

aashik: with a name like that :-)) i wonder how u wonder...read till the end of this comments section to read a lil challenge for everyone.

safari al: u and lalit r really curious to know my name....hmm....mebbe if u did sommin nice and special for me, i'd solve the mystery... ;-))

c'mon everyone...don't judge me..i cud use a lil special treatment right now considering i'm going to be in office till about 10 tonight.

maximus: thank u very much and thanks for dropping by :-)

OK....so here is my little challenge. i don't think we appeciate members of the opposite sex enough...so i challenge everyone who reads this to write 10 things they love about the opposite sex. once ur done, just leave a comment here and we'll all go read your list...i'll put up a post with links to everyone's lists so the general population can read it too...go ahead...SPREAD THE LOVE ;-))))))))

silverine said...

I have already done that!!!!

Anonymous said...

on men
1. agree with u on that - lovely when they are half awake.
2. men are crazy about friends. really crazy. are better friends
3.men are always boys.charming aspect this
4. men drive better
5. men have unshaven cheeks
6. men are taller
7. men are good
8. blunt
9. men want you
10.sometimes they get sentimental and all and you know they love u true

another girl

Anonymous said...

If that is the case, then its good for the guys you know in real life.

As for the challenge, 10 is probably too much, here are a few that come to mind immediately:
- Every girl thinks she is 'different'
- Girls are predictably unpredictable
- Most play hard to get, which makes it exciting
- Can listen to things which are difficult to share with fellow guys
- Are willing to give geeks a chance when it comes to choosing a life partner!
- Difficult to live without for a straight guy

Anonymous said...

IIM and men? What an oxymoronic word!

Lalit Singh said...

am also partial to
WOW... and that would be about 45000 guys
that makes me really excited!!!!
mebbe if u did sommin nice and special
A-ha.. now u never know whats in store.. maybe we have something planned but after u solve the mystery

Lalit Singh said...

But I asked you to do the nice thing first
NEWSFLASH: No i asked u first

Anonymous said...

always enjoy reading your posts! and this was really good :)

Fleiger said...

Came up on your blog by chance. And I will forever praise that chance. Didn't know we men had so much to make us "cuddleble".

Now I am off to read why you hate, sorry why you don't hate, sorry like men.

Sayesha said...

Hahaha! I love this post! :)

Rainbow Hopper said...

Good to read a positive come back from the constant male bashing. Cosmo is looking for you girl.
The journey from mars to venus dawns newer understandings with each step ahead.