The World Through Bad-Alcohol-Tinted Glasses

Warning: Do not ever ever consume a cocktail called Regent Punch at Days of the Raj. You're safer drinking recycled sewer water. The result is a bad headache and this post. I wrote it, but didn't post it because I wanted to read what it would be like once I was sober...In any case, I'm posting it here without any changes because I thought it made interesting "rambling" reading, and I figured these must be things that are really bothering me.

*This post was written under the influence of some very bad alcohol. Reader discretion is advised. Any resemblance to individuals living or dead is likely to be true since drunks cannot lie. Any disputes arising from this post are to be raised in my toilet where they will be flushed down like soiled toilet paper.

1. Why does Saddam Hussain get suits stiched by some designer dude in Turkey. I mean what the fuck... you kill like a few million people and live like a king...and at the end of your life, you go around wearing designer suits and complain that you aren't being treated well in jail. If Bush could go around bombing lil kids accidently, why the hell couldn't they just shoot Saddam accidently too??

2. What is it with ex boyfriends? I mean, they talk about wanting to move on and being friends and talking about everything. But when the girl starts dating, they get all "aww....but i can't sleep...but i can't eat...waahhh.." Basically traslated that means "aww...im a whiner...im a loser...waahhh.." Am I cold hearted bitch? Hell ya!! Especially when I find out someone I trusted stabbed me in the back and had cheated on me. Dude, you deserve everything you're getting right now and are about to get!

3. Why can men and women not stand each other?? I mean, I've met so many who have the same complain. Men marry expecting their women will not change but they do. And women marry expecting that their men will change but they don't. Since this is a common saying, I know its been around since Adam, so why the hell can't men look for women expecting change, and women look for men, who they don't feel like changing?

4. Why do men always say that women think so much? Would you prefer if the world was full of blondes whose idea of thinking was just deciding whether to wear the pink thong or the green one? Actually, don't answer that...No point.

5. Why do women get so confused with what they want from a guy? We all know that the perfect guy does not exist. Yet we have laundry lists of what we want from a guy...Yes he should be loving and kind... I mean c'mon...I didn't exactly expect any female to want an alcoholic wife beating shit head! So isnt it easier to just list the qualities you can live without? And please note, I said qualities.

6. Why do men want virgins only? And this is a phenomenon that apparently exists all over the world. My girlfriends in the US keep telling me that guys there are crazy about Indian girls. They feel Indian chicks are more moral (read virgins). At the same time, all guys want one thing only...my grandmother told me so. Men want great girls who they can have sex with, without having to marry (some guys are willing and even keen to have sex even with not-so-great girls, but I won't count them in here). And men want great girls to marry as well. So if all the great girls have sex with the guys, then where are all the virgins left for marriage?? Math was never my strong suit, having scored 19/100 in class 11th, but this equation certainly boggles the mind. And why would any self-respecting female admit to being a virgin/non-virgin anyway? I mean, you're damned if you're a 24 year old virgin, but you're damned worse if you're a 24 year old non-virgin.

7. Why does my best friend, a guy, have softer, straighter hair than I do? He fucking even has longer eye lashes. Where is the justice in that?

8. When a girl I know has to register for a famous matrimonial site buckling under family pressure (and this is a phenomenon solely for girls), why is it that all the weirdos approach only her. Is it some sort of a special query run on the database? Or is it like one weird homing signal that this unnamed girl has buried under her skin?

9. When you decide that you would like to work in the international market, and figure that with your credentials, they would be happy to have you, you find out its one fucking chicken and egg story. And we all know what happens to the chickens and eggs. I mean they will give you a job if you have a work permit, but you can get a work permit only if you have a job. My condolences to Laxmi Mittal.

10. Why do most lists have 10 points...what is that all about? In my current mood, I think I will be different. 9 points is all!

Thank you blogger for spell check.