I turn 24 later this month, and my extended family has left no stones un-turned to remind me that now is the time to "put myself in the market". Suddenly I've become a perishable item (like milk perhaps) because I've been told that I have a "shelf-life"! When did I make the journey from being a fresh-faced collegiate to curdled milk?
As a result of all these persuasions, I've started glancing at some of the matrimonials that appear on Sunday, and those that appear online on popular matrimonial and dating sites. I thought I'd share a small selection with you, and ask that you vote on your favorite entry.
1. MBA Topmost US Business School, MS, B.Tech (IIT), New York Investment Banker, Six figures, US Citizen...Brahmin, visiting Dec, younger looking 47 (WOW. where did he discover the fountain of youth. Just as I'm beginning to wonder how we let such a perfect specimen leave our shores undetected, I realize there's more.)
Good personality...caring, wide intellectual, artistic, spiritual interests (I guess than means he doesn't see porn ever), innocent divorcee (Awwwwww...poor baby), brief visa marriage (Spiritual, innocent eh??), no issues (Maybe he's shooting blanks?), traditional values (Which probably explain why he agreed to a visa marriage), open to living in India (He just got pink-slipped, and hopes your industrialist daddy can gift him a couple of factories)
2. Attractive male. 35. Single (Really?? I was wondering why you were here), seeking (1) Female (Thanks for clearing that up) (2) Between 23 and 24 (3) Weight between 51 and 52 kgs (4) Height between 5 ft and 5.2 ft (5) very fair(6) Education: Only JMC passout with B.Com(H) (WOW, talk about specifics.)
Guy is open minded (Yes, thats quite obvious with his requirements isnt it??). Only girl should convince boy (So you're saying the girl should serenade him?? Court him?? What??). Boy can run really fast (HUH???!!!???)
And if you thought it was just men who could put out the odd one (excuse the pun), here are some ladies for you:
3. General: i am 24; female; engineer from india; good loking; very intelligent and caring; my colour is fair. i make good foods (Maa ke haath ke khane ka swaad)
Looking for: i don't like people - who r flirts. such timepassers r full time waste (Did that rhyme?). i hate useless; who r crowd (I think the dear girl meant coward, but whatever right). if good people r on earth; they wil come on net (Honey, whats a girl like you doing in a place like this); if bad thn so.....(She's philosophical too...so who is snapping this one up??) As a man he shld take care of his upcoming life n make sure that none interferes in his own personal decisions (She's going to make sure any interfering saas, nanand types are taken care of if you know what I mean ;-)) In short a man who is bold n not old (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA).
4. Looking for: shld laugh easily and make me laugh 2. not too many hang ups - or shld keep them to himself. shld be ready to do crazy stuff at a moments notice. doesnt need to be adonis, jude the obscure can stay away though. smoke, dope,drink-expect the same 2. walk,talk, sing, bla bla together....point is looking for a partner. we can pretend that youre the boss though! (BALL BUSTER)
5. General: i'm a fun loving girl lookin for a partner to have fun with....if u know what i mean...i really like to party and enjoy fast goin people who wudnt mind one night stands and r not so stuck up on their emotions (eh em...sommin tells me that some of the boys reading this will be leaving comments asking for more details on this lady)
Appearance: i like wearin revealing clothes i have the perfect body for it..i think my eyes and my sex appeal r my assets
I forwarded this last profile to my scheming matchmaking maternal uncle to give him an idea of the kind of amazing competition I would have out there. He said not to worry and that he would search out more such entries on the sites and send mails to the site administrators. Ever since then he has actually stopped trying to convince my mom about the need to marry me off. Instead we find him forever glued to his monitor with a stupid grin on his face.
What can I say people. She shoots, she scores!
14 comments:
Hallelujah!!!
spiritual interests = no porn
Only JMC passout with B.Com(H)
Only girl should convince boy
ROTFL
well, I thought the JMC guy was romantic... probably aimed at someone (or maybe 2) in particular!
Appearance: i like wearin revealing clothes i have the perfect body for it..i think my eyes and my sex appeal r my assets
Seriously! which sites do you check?
oh and I added a link to your blog on mine...
Oh! My gawd..got a link to ur's through sidin's and I shud tell ya that I laffed my tummy out. Thanx for the entertainment.
Krish (www.geocities.com/torrykrish)
Lalit: Glad you liked the comeback :-) Your Paris trip pix make me envious as hell! So any vacancies I can apply for?? HEHEHEHE
Vaibhav: Awww you're a complete softie aren't you?? FYI all these were from mainstream matrimonial sites. Oh and did I mention I love you??
Krish: Hey welcome. You coming here from Sidin's is like a little piece of manna for me. And your Canada outing fills me with envy much the same as Lalit's foray to Paris. Yours truly battles MG road everyday for her sins.
ha ha ha
Long live these matrimonials. They make my Sundays much anticipated. In our house we have a ritual of reading aloud the 'interesting' matrimonials ads.
"shooting blanks" lol lol :))
lets see... how about Good Friday weekend??
BTW was it the same uncle who read out the "girl with defects preferred" to you some time back???
Oh I always knew that from your meaningful silences! sigh
HAHAHAHA! This was goooood! I checked out those matri things just once when I was bored like hell...(though there's no need for me to do that, yet...I'm 17:P)
So, this dude was asking for the usual stuff...tall, fair, pretty, homely etc etc...unusual thing? Girl had to be "pulchritudinous"! What a word! Another was looking for a "pink complexioned girl". Haha.
innocent divorcee (Awwwwww...poor baby), brief visa marriage (Spiritual, innocent eh??) HAHAHA! Truly innocent, indeed.
Hail matrimonials!
Tootles.
i am back and on blogspot. check my blogger profile. i stopped posting on LJ.
and i am single and looking, though i am not fair handsome and tall. i drink at pubs and smoke. i watch lots of porn.
you interested?
ROTFL.
i am also only twenty.
silverine: lady, i rank you second only to sidin at this point of time. i loved your latest. sometimes i find these grannies the hippest lot around!
lalit: yep, same mamu. i didn't understand your comment about good friday tho'.
vaibhav: now dat i've been added to your blog roll, i have the extra responsibility of updating more often. wud not wanna let u down!! infact i'm writing tonight also
the girl whosold the world: welcome girlie! always good to see new ppl here. i agree, men ask for the strangest things! but "pink-complexioned" - that really takes the cake. loved ur blog btw. garfield is my cosmic twin too :-D
safari al: welcome bk to blgspot buddy. college still killing u?? im very interested in pubs. is that what u were asking (batting eyes at safari al). 20 eh? i shall ve sommin to write about dat tonight.
what did u mean when u said "So any vacancies I can apply for??"
hilarious stuff. :-)
brilliant. enjoy it while it lasts though. soon enough the novelty will wear out. then you won't want to hear a word abt the whole thing. by the end of the whole exercise you will have a sneaky little doubt in your beautiful little heart wondering if .. you know.. god really made.. a jodi thing..
then suddenly you'll get married! haha!
By the holy mother of god!
I hope that these matri's have not appeared in any shape or form in a matrimonial!
If they have, I guess the business page, editorials, sports page, page 3 and the front page will have to await their turn while I devour the best of them all!
The Matri!
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